'Someone leaked a copy of our report': School superintendent resigns after teachers' outrageous plan draws attention to his leadership

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Oct 10, 2023 11:00 AM EDT

This superintendent decided to give the student government a project. That was his first mistake! 

U/The_Bee_Sneeze shared this interesting tale from their high school days as an overachiever. The OP writes that they were in the student government for the same reasons everyone else is: because it looks good when you're applying to colleges. It looks great on a resume, and the only things you really do are things like planning the Homecoming Dance or putting up flyers around the school. 

However, at this high school, the superintendent decided to give these kids a bit more responsibility. The OP, as the student president, was given the task of plotting out a five year plan. If you've ever lived for longer than five years, you already know the flaw in the logic here---you have no idea where you'll be in five years, and not much control over that either. Not to mention that they were asking the OP, a high schooler about to graduate, to plan out high school curriculums for the next generation of students, while the OP themself will be off at college. The whole thing was so ridiculous that the OP and their group decided to treat it as such. 

Check out the whole story below. Then, have a laugh at these interviewees who didn't exactly nail the interview, like one person answered a question with, "I dunno, I'll have to ask my mom."

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  • 01
    Happy - 'You MUST have a 5-year plan'
    via javier trueba on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - "You MUST have a 5-Year Plan!" OC In high school, I was the overachieving d who got elected student body president during my senior year. Anyone who has ever been through American high school knows that student government is mostly bulls ..utterly useless at anything beyond picking the Homecoming theme. You do it because it looks good on your college applications (and because you get a killer parking spot). But in my fall term, I suddenly found myself with a new and far more odious respon
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 03
    Font - District-wide, science scores on standardized tests had been falling for awhile. A new superintendent was put in place, and he was bound and determined to turn things around. He demanded that each school submit a five-year plan for bringing the curriculum up to "standards." He wanted student
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 04
    Font - input, too. All student body presidents would be required to a chapter to the report. contribute Suddenly, in the middle of college application essays and studying for finals, I'm stuck in after-school meetings about this stupid plan.
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 05
    Font - Yes, stupid. You see, some years before my arrival at this school, a group of dedicated teachers came together to bring in the IB diploma program. It correctly dubbed itself the most rigorous high school program in the city. High-achieving students from all over the area flocked to it. Within a decade, our sty district was regularly sending kids to Harvard and Stanford. Mostly to become science majors.
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 06
    Font - So when the superintendent started wagging his finger at our teachers about test scores, they didn't take to it kindly. They told me, in no uncertain terms, that the report was pure political theatre. Still, we had to submit a report about meeting standards, and I had to write one of the chapters.
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 07
    Font - Here's what we concluded: while it was pointless to make adjustments to the IB science curriculum (which was literally following international standards), we did identify several ways we could improve access to lab facilities for kids outside of IB. To my surprise, I actually liked what we were proposing. I even started seeing some merits to the exercise.
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 08
    Font - The thing is, there was no way it would take us five years to implement these changes. So we submitted our report with a pledge to implement all the changes within one year. What go-getters we were!
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 09
    Font - The superintendent's response? "I asked for a five-year plan, and I expect a five-year plan!" He demanded a whole new report. It didn't matter how good our scores looked. He wanted to be able to say the words "five-year plan" to the press.
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 10
    Font - Now the teachers were ped. At our next meeting, the science department chair, Mr. Janikowski, announced a new approach.
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 11
    Font - "Here's how we'll divide up the chapters. Sarah, you write the first chapter. 'Year One: Aligning Ourselves with Local Standards.""
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 12
    Font - Mrs. Perez protested. "But what local standards?" "Doesn't matter," said Mr. Janikowski, "Fill it with whatever fluff you want. Make it sound technical and official, but ultimately say nothing." He turned to the freshman chemistry teacher. "Jim, you write the second chapter. 'Year Two: Aligning Ourselves with State Standards."" Jim shrugged okay.
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 13
    Font - "Good. Cassandra, you take Year Three: National Standards. Brent, you take Year Four: Standards." International
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 14
    Font - Then he turned to me, a massive grin on his face. "And you, u/The Bee Sneeze, you can take Year Five...Intergalactic Standards." At that moment, if you could have snapped a picture of any one of our faces, it would look like the cat who ate the canary.
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 15
    Font - Here's an actual sentence I wrote: "It is difficult, perhaps impossible, to instill students with a true sense of unbridled aspiration if we confine their expectations to planetary norms." I suggested conferences with extraterrestrial educators, hosting the next Science Bowl on Mars, and mandatory meetings between the superintendent and his alien counterparts.
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 16
    Font - We submitted the report, fully expecting the swift ire of the superintendent. Instead, we heard nary a peep. I guess the district didn't care what was in the reports, just so long as we had them.
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 17
    Font - At the press conference, the superintendent proudly displayed the reports from each school. The story made the news on some of the lesser channels, and I think the governor invited him to lunch. Then, in the summer after I graduated, someone leaked a copy of our report to the local paper.
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 18
    Font - Then more stories came out...about how the superintendent had ties to a contracting company that received a major bid to renovate a football/track field, even though the budget was significantly higher than other proposals, and the renovations were less extensive. He resigned shortly thereafter.
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 19
    Font - As for our school, the teachers stuck to their initial plan to improve lab access, and the press exposure only helped more parents learn about our school's high scores. I think enrollment actually jumped the next year.
    via u/The_Bee_Sneeze
  • 20
    Font - algy888 Five year plan: Year one: we make improvements Year two: we monitor the results of Year One Year three: we make adjustments and improvements based on the results of our Year Two Review Year four: we monitor the results of Year Three Adjustments Year five: we tabulate the baseline of our new academic standard and propose a new Five Year Plan
    via u/algy888
  • 21
    Font - bostondana2 Wait, are you saying you didn't talk about interdimensional standards? No wonder the report caused such havoc!
    via u/bostondana2
  • 22
    Font - ricobirch This experience trained you for corporate America more than any class ever could.
    via u/ricobirch
  • 23
    Product - shipsAreWeird123 The district will be ideally situated to provide space force recruits.
    via u/shipsAreWeird123

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